Monday, January 21, 2008

Hello, I'll be your stereotype this evening

I took bubba to a naturopathic physician. He's been sick since October, been on antibiotics twice, and with the last virus I had had enough. Like when you are in a restaurant and all of a sudden you have waited too long for your meal and can't wait another minute? Like that. I mean, jeepers, he refused all fluids for days. I was worried. And naturopaths? Aren't they all about prevention and stuff? Boosting immune systems and such?

So imagine my surprise when I got, from the competent providers taking care of me, the 1950's pat-on-the-head treatment. They didn't actually say "there there it's all in your head," but things were going in that direction. You realize this is normal for babies in day care blah blah I can tell you must be tired blah blah my niece had this same thing and we just waited it out blah blah blah.

As I wondered why they were looking at me as though my mouth was moving but no sound was coming out, I realized then how I must look. Rolling into their office with my really rather robust baby, my jogging stroller, my health insurance. My North Face jacket. Another overeducated delayed-childbearer with too much time on her hands who thinks every little cold her preshus baybee gets is a serious illness, who obviously has no idea how bad it can get.

I'm not trying to complain. They had some decent recommendations and I'm all for integrative medicine still. In fact, I'm so not a complainer that once I went to an Indian restaurant and ordered a simple korma and they brought me some other thing with a banana in it (a banana!), and I was all, it's okay, I can just pick the banana out, I don't want to inconvenience you or your chef.

But I felt invisible in that office, and it made me want to scream. And apologize to all the people I have ever looked right through because at first glance they filled a stereotype. I'm sure there are plenty. It is a terrible thing, to not be seen. And I was only invisible for an hour.

10 comments:

Vanessa said...

Perhaps you can try to get in over at Bastyr? (Please don't tell me that's where you were today!) Or the Country Doctor over on Pill Hill? I hope the kiddo gets better soon.

Mrs. G. said...

I know a GREAT practice over here on the Eastside called Creekside Center. We have been going there since forever.

Hope the Bubster is feeling better.

Melissa said...

I think taking him to see a doctor/natropath etc. made perfect sense under those conditions. I say find another.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I understand. When I was about 6 months pregnant with my 3rd child, I awoke in the wee hours of the morning with excruciating cramps in the uterus area. Alarmed that I may be going into labor WAY too early, I had hubby bundle up our other 2 children and get me to the emergency room. Only to have my concerns met with "is this your first preganancy?" pat..pat..pat...on my head. It was said in a tone like "why are you bothering us you uneducated thing?"

Mary Alice said...

Uggghhh. Some people are so jaded. Hope he is feeling fit as a fiddle soon.

TwoSquareMeals said...

As a Southern, Christian, stay-at-home mom I have had that experience of being put into a box more times than I care to remember. But never from my pediatricians, thank goodness. They actually believe that parents know their children better than the doctor does.

I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I hope Bubba feels better soon!

Melanie said...

Oh, how I ADORE a condescending medical professional. Particularly the fill-in ones who don't know me or my child and speak to me like I'm incapable of understanding polysyllabic words and actual medical terms.

I'm sorry. I hope he feels better, and I hope you get some answers.

the end of motherhood said...

A good naturpath would never do that so you can look at it this way...they saved you a lot of money you would have wasted on their services...

lapoflux said...

I'm sorry - you send your child to daycare? Well there, it's all your fault and in your head.
Do you know HOW many times I was dismissed by doctors over my (then) 2 1/2 year old's cough that went on for months. Oh, they would say knowingly, she's in DAYCARE (as if I was leaving her in a sewer with rats all day or something).
They started paying attention when she got pneumonia. Good luck with Bubba, and it is not in your head. NOT NOT NOT.

My Ice Cream Diary said...

I have started to get the "pretend attention" that I used to give to mothers of too many kids. You know, the moms who act like they have all the answers but all their answers sound insane and heartless. Yup, now I get the same look from new moms when I tell them what 4 kids have taught me. I've now learned to keep my trao shut and just let them do it their way.

HOWEVER, it is even worse when you get this treatment from those whom you pay. Doctors should remember that if they make you feel bad you will look elsewhere (like you did).

I hope your little guy feels better.