Monday, November 17, 2008

West Nile Virus

Back at the turn of the century, I had a major coffee habit. Periodically I would become racked with guilt about this and shamefully decide to go cold turkey, resolved to shed my dependence on the stuff once and for all. One of these deprivation cycles happened when I was on a trip to Florida for a conference. Probably I had to go without while traveling and realized what a crutch it had become and how pathetic it is to leave a perfectly nice hotel room just to feed your coffee habit with some nasty cheap hotel sludge. I came home from Florida with a new resolve to stand on my own two feet.

Checking the health news on my return, I saw that West Nile virus was discovered in some sentinel chickens in Florida (they put chickens in cages out in the swamps and such and see what they get infected with, I think). People were encouraged to look out for symptoms of headache, fatigue, disorientation. And guess what? I had all those! Oh my!

I promptly started hyperventilating, sure that I had been infected. It was the only explanation. I was on the CDC website lickety split to see what I should do to report my participation in the outbreak. I was bound to, in my dying breaths, inform the proper health officials of my participation in the outbreak.

In the midst of my alarm, a friend and coworker who knew about my recent coffee fast suggested (a little more kindly than this, but not much), "Dumb#ss! Why don't you have a cup of coffee and see if that cures your West Nile Virus?"

I did, and I was cured. Imagine! A narrow escape.

12 comments:

JCK said...

Coffee withdrawals much better than West Nile, although...it can be rough. So glad you were able to come back to the dark side. My lap top twin! :)

Anonymous said...

LOL....are you secretly related to Mary, the Minnesota Matron?

Too funny. And as for giving up coffee...hush!

Irene said...

I am cutting my caffeine intake down by half. I hope I don't get the West Nile Virus now.

I'll probably only get it a little bit.

I really am cutting down on the caffeine, though. Too much of something is not a good thing.

Mary Alice said...

We had a neighbor who was a family practice doc. He had developed quite the coffee addiction during his med school/residency days and his wife figured it wasn't good for him so she started adding decaf to his morning Joe, unbeknownst to him....but fully known by all the neighbors. We would gather at our kitchen windows to watch his listless walk out to the car each morning hanging on to his thermos cup. He began to be sure he had developed some sort of fatal disease when his wife finally came clean with the decaf info. It did provide a couple weeks of amusement for the neighborhood though.

Nowheymama said...

I'm glad to know the "cure" for West Nile Virus. :) Better go get a refill....

melissa said...

Two weeks ago I tried to kick the coffee habit and after 2 days of massive headaches I went to StarBucks. I don't usually drink StarBucks but I wanted the most caffine the quickest. I lived in Florida along time and always thought one of had West Nile Virus. Do to (I beleive) my very overactive imagination.

smalltownme said...

I've only been off coffee twice, when I was pregnant, but I did it gradually not cold turkey so I was OK.

Anonymous said...

you should publish a study.

Katie said...

ROFLMAO!!I have suffered from WNV before and cured it with coffee.

Here's to another cuppa joe!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You hypochondriacs write the funniest posts!

ellen said...

I love this...tell me about vino.

Melissa said...

HEY! Are you allowed to recycle posts for NaBloPoMo?!!! That's right lady! I remember! -I especially remember when it's a good post that made me laugh! :)