Friday, November 14, 2008

The sisterhood

Don't women do this in some societies?

A bunch of women, right? Each one takes her turn. They are the Sisterhood of the Hostesses Without Housekeepers.

They have a sacred agreement--signed in merlot--that when a sister's mother-in-law is about to visit she shall wear a Tiara and be called Queen Bee. The Sisterhood descends on Queen Bee's house with buckets, mops, gloves, and environmentally friendly cleaning supplies. Queen Bee provides booze, brie, and chocolate. Maybe some pie.

Mr Bee takes child on long outdoor adventure--basking in the glow of unconditional maternal love he gets neither credit nor raised eyebrows for state of his house so is banished.

Sisterhood cleans Queen Bee's house top to bottom. Behind the clawfoot tub. The gooey stuff between the kitchen sink and the backsplash. Box from new Target lamp finally sent to recycling. Old ghetto lamp made to disappear. Bookshelf organized. Shower curtain? Into the laundry. Clean towels for all. Really a DEEP CLEAN and ORGANIZATION that Queen Bee doesn't even know how to delegate because she doesn't know how to do it. She just doesn't SEE what needs to be done.

Sisterhood share funny stories about family, the last Queen Bee's hostessing extravaganza, old boyfriends, bullets dodged. House is filled with laughter and good smells (pie). Sisterhood works together and house is clean in a jiffy. Sisters put their feet up and take pride in a job well done. Queen Bee fills them with more brie and wine, braids hair of any interested--scalp massage included. Queen Bee knows she can face any houseguest with a seriously clean toilet.

Any takers?

32 comments:

Katie said...

This is too funneh! I just popped over from Tootsie's place via the Derf's, I didn't expect to read about myself...

I am no help. What. So .Ever. But I can make pie and braid hair :]

Your blog rocks!

Kristen M. said...

I can bring my Mrs. Meyer's gingerbread scented cleaner ... it smells yum-yum-yum.

I need one of these big cleans too. Of course it's just my own mom coming ... and she's one of those crazy hoarders you see on tv so she actually thinks my house looks clean. I would want it cleaned just for me.

sarah bean said...

Aww, I want me some sisterhood...

Marit said...

sounds awesome. Call me and i'll be over in a jiff.

The Boisterous Butterfly said...

I need a sisterhood of about 4 or 5 women and we would do this regularly, not wait for a guest to drop in, but just as a jolly group go and clean each other's houses. I think that's supposed to work that way anyway. Not some woman isolated in a house all by herself facing dirt and disorder all on her own. I am a Dutch woman my own and could use some other Dutch women in the region of Maastricht. Any takers?

Mama Goose said...

Goethe said, “Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”

I'm in! Can you come over today?

Madge said...

yeah. i'm with you. it's not that i don't know how to clean the house as much as i just don't see it....

TwoSquareMeals said...

I'd totally be there if I didn't live on the opposite side of the country. I've actually wanted to start a group of friends doing this on a rotating basis for a long time. Problem? We all have way too many kids at this point. We'd need a babysitter (at someone else's house) or the mess would reappear as quickly as we cleaned it.

Tricia said...

I'm on my way. Where do you need me to start...I can make a kitchen sparkle before you can pull out the wine.

Nowheymama said...

Sounds perfect!

lapoflux said...

Sounds PERFECT. I'm in.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Am I lunatic for thinking this is really my idea of a good time? Cleaning things? Sign me up.

Heidi said...

Are you kidding?! I am there in a heartbeat (ok very long plane ride). I was so jealous thinking of that sisterhood without me!

Mary Alice said...

Oh, I am soooo coming over. I have years of practice cleaning around claw foot tubs....and I adore both brie and head rubs.

Mama Nomad said...

that is how it SHOULD be. nothing whips my house into shape like the threat of houseguests...


...i sense a mother-in-law themed blog coming soon?

Jay said...

Guys do this too, just in reverse, e.g. making things messier and berating one another.

susan said...

I'm cracking up at all these women that LIKE to clean! :D

I have one friend that I do this with...I'd love to find seven more. You don't happen to be on the East side do you???

Lisa Milton said...

The colony and now this? This life is looking up.

Vanessa said...

Great idea! You can't braid my hair, but I'd love some wine and pie.

Mrs. G. said...

Where have all the sisterhoods gone?

melissa said...

Oh how FUN! Mama Goose told me about you! I would love some sister hood. That's how it should be!

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

At my previous house (which I am still mourning, and I moved 6 months ago) my neighbor and I used to swap childcare duties whenever one o fus was having guests. So her kids would trash my house while she cleaned hers in peace, and vice versa. Then the one with the dirty house would host the one with the clean house until the guests showed up. Ah, my old neighbor. How I miss her.

justhay said...

Oh yeah.
But knowing me, I'd spend the day cleaning before the sisterhood arrived. Don't want the world to know what a pig I am, do I?

phd in yogurtry said...

can we start with the booze?

I am seriously in need of this sisterhood action. My MIL coming and cleaning lady is not. Its an every other week deal, so MIL will arrive to two weeks of no cleaning. shoot me now. oh but wait. She can't see all that well. Never mind. Am saved.

nancy said...

You had me at merlot.

carrie said...

Oh, I am so in. Let me know the schedule! :)

Cara said...

Oh, girl, you have no idea how much I would love to take you up on this idea. I love my inlaws, but fret about the idea of my MIL or FIL taking a look at the stains on the toilet. :-) I'd give merlot, brie, Theo chocolates, happy hour at Art of the Table on Mondays...whatever, just to know I could get out of this. Seriously. :-)

Melissa said...

For brie and home made pie? Heck yeah! :D

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