Whenever I get overwhelmed with life I become convinced that if Jeff would do more household chores my life would be all better. I think it's something to do with the Five Languages of Love or something, but that was about the only decent thing I got from that particular therapist so who knows.
Last night I was SURE that if Jeff did more dishes it would all be okay--all of it! And he's all, okay, I'll do the dishes, crazy lady. Love you. And I'm all, my husband is SO KIND. I lurve him. But then he gets all worried that I'm RUNNING things or that he has overpromised--wouldn't you? Agreeing to the demands of a crazy lady? So he's all, but here's where I draw the line. Are you ready, crazy lady? And I'm all, what?
And he's all, I won't--I can't--wipe the counters when I'm done. It reminds me too much of my sainted mother who wiped the counters WAY TOO MUCH and if I wipe the counters once in my life it will be giving in to her way of cleaning. He continues all, and by the way, Nora, remember how you used to be a skanker who never cleaned her counter? THAT is why I married you, NORA. You have CHANGED.
And I'm all--no! I will not agree! Crazy man! You DID marry a skanker! Look at the rest of our house! I'm still a slob! Just like the slob you married! But the counters! They hold my baby's food and I need them clean. Remember when you LOVED me? Remember THAT?
And then we looked at each other and giggled. And he wore his new waffle shirt that I think is hot and all was well.
And I'm telling you this because he took this story to his den of male coworkers and they all had a good manly chuckle over it over pizza with several kinds of meat on it. They traded stories of their spousal cleaning habits. And I'm pretty sure that when I say spousal cleaning habits I mean crazy crazy. I'm like Nora, Jeff, and my wife is like you.
So ha! I'm posting it on the internet, since I didn't have any pizza today.