Monday, February 11, 2008

I'm the mama

Tonight I hold my baby in my arms, fearing my body heat will make his fever higher. I let him nurse for hours because it is the only thing that calms him. I know that I will probably catch what he has, and it doesn't matter. I know I will be up in the night with him again tonight, and it doesn't matter. I make him sippy cups of chamomile tea and finally exhale when he drinks. I say prayers of thanks for the pharmaceutical industry that has produced safe, over the counter fever reducers. I wonder how any mother in generations past, and still now in many places, ever survived knowing that each fever might put her child's life in danger, not just his comfort. Tonight my baby needs his mama, and that mama is me.

Oh my heavens, it's me.

22 comments:

ellen said...

Oh, sweet person and loving mother, who better than you? It is such a scare, so frightening and exhausting when our babies are ill. You are doing all of the things that a mother can do. The best medicine..and the best love that he knows now are coming from you. I know that his daddy is there to help him and you.
Take care, get as much rest as you can.

Vanessa said...

Oh Nora, I'm so sorry that precious baby is sick. With luck and your love he will kick this bug quickly and bounce back to his happy spoon loving self. Take care, all of you, take care.

the end of motherhood said...

We always hate it when they are sick but it is great to be the one, isn't it?

Grandy said...

You are so well equipped to be this boy's mama...I can just tell. Hope he's feeling better soon!!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It is so scary when they are sick like that. He's lucky you can just hold him and help him feel better. Sometimes only a mama will do.

She She said...

You are exactly the mama Bubba needs. What a gift it is to be able to minister to our sick kids. Nothing else makes me feel quite as important and competent.

Hope he's better soon.

wheelsonthebus said...

I hope he feels better and I am glad he has you.

JCK said...

Lovely. It is the little moments that are SO huge. What a blessing that he has you!

Jennifer said...

Oh, this is so sad but so sweet, too. Your little one is in good hands with his mama. (Though oh do I know that that "Heavens, it's me?" feeling!)

Hope he's better soon!

Nora said...

hope he's feeling better! I am thankfully that my mom is still around to care for me if I need it (and I'm 24!). Her bowls of soup, trashy magazines and attentiveness are still much appreciated. Mothers are important and he's lucky to have you.

Mrs. G. said...

I hope Buddy is feeling better and that you have had time for a nap.

Claire B. said...

oh, how sweet. little tears here.

hope he is better soonest.

Vanessa said...

How is that sweet boy doing? How are you? Been thinking about you both all day and hope he's feeling better. Take care.

HRH said...

It is so hard watching a sick baby...your heart just hurts for them. Sending happy thoughts your way.

MamaBird said...

I am so sorry about your little guy. I always sleep with my kids when they are really sick like that. It's like an instinct, I always catch myself kissing their heads and whispering "Mama's here." Your writing rocks. I love your blog, just happened upon it from BeanPaste. I am trying to lessen my internets addiction and now you come along!

Day Dreamer said...

OH, you're giving your baby the best of the best.

The helpless feeling that goes with having a hot little person in your arms.....

Hope he gets better soon. Sure you could use a rest too.

Melanie said...

I know exactly what you mean. There are few things as sad your own sick, fevered little baby, and the act of caring for him is so beautifully, quintessentially maternal.

Give H. a big mooch for me.

Minnesota Matron said...

Very sweet. I've been there and so remember the nights of being the pacifier, soother, mama. I hope that you've gotten some sleep over the past day -- my baby will be five in a few days and this brought tears to my eyes. It's physically painful to watch them suffer.

Laura said...

I hope that he is feeling better now! You sound like a lovely mommy, Nora!

Michelle Hix said...

What a sweet post.

Childlife said...

And you're a good one too : )

Give Bubba an extra hug... hope he's feeling better!

lapoflux said...

What a beautiful post. Thanks for bringing back good memories of hard times. There's just nothing like those moments.