Tuesday, April 15, 2008

You didn't miss much

Post ideas I let go by in the last few weeks while blog-dieting:

Phase I: In which Nora is high on sparkling intellectual energy--her brain a well-oiled machine--and thinks it would be charming to make every random thing sound like a dissertation chapter:


Post idea: The role of narrator in I Love Trucks compared to Policeman Small: Our changing understanding of male toddler obsession with large machines

Post idea: Stall choice of women in public restrooms when someone is or is not in one of the stalls already: analysis of three-, four-, and five- stall ladies' rooms

Phase II: In which Nora's stress level climbs and every random thing becomes a metaphor for her failure as a human being:

Post idea: The emotionally unavailable barista sees Nora's ID badge and asks her the meaning of her name. She is flustered at this sudden attention so answers too loudly and confusingly ("I don't know, oh wait! It's like the same root as Eleanor! Like honor, get it? Ho-NOR? NOR-a? I think. There may be other meanings though."). Nora feels terribly guilty for questioning the barista's emotional availability--see, she is a terrible person--despite the barista's eye roll at her bizarre answer she thinks the relationship has taken a new turn and now every morning at the espresso bar will begin with a bright "Hi, Nora!" She is wrong. She is a real regular now, thanks to all those long hours, and the barista doesn't question her drink anymore. But she has also been reminded that her own dissertation crapola is not nearly as bad as what the barista's brother went through. So she has kept things in perspective. Thank heavens for that--I mean, she could be doing, like, a HARD dissertation or something.

Post idea: Then Nora makes a shoo fly pie to take to a party. It is terrible, burnt on the outside and raw in the center. She must throw the whole thing in the trash, and is devastated. A failure as a baker and as a poser Pennsylvania Dutchess. She can't even bring herself to photograph the thing for her blog. Again, proof of her real worth. Swears never to cook again. Pities her husband and child who must endure a lifetime of bad baking. "The pie will jiggle a little when you take it out of the oven. This is normal, and the pie will set as it cools." Whatever.

Phase III: In which Nora gets gray hair, even paler skin (she prefers "alabaster"), worse vision, something suspiciously like carpal tunnel in her hands, relies too heavily on the grilled cheese genre for feeding her male toddler and generally isn't too fun to be around. Because anyone who gets too close must deal with sudden outbursts of what if her professors HATE her draft? What if they FAIL her? What then???? WHAT THEN??

Post idea: [blinks slowly]

Post idea: Hey, guess what? I met Bossy last night as she swept through on her Excellent Road Trip. I was a latecomer to joining in her adventure, but she didn't make me sit at the end of the table or anything. So cool. So human. And because it's all about me, I am in the photo of the evening on her blog! Awesome fun was had by all, some seriously cool women with blogs around town. A treat.

17 comments:

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It looks like you were back and just left of center!

Family Adventure said...

Glad you came through it all intact :)

Heidi

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Isn't BOSSY a peach? Glad you're back!

hippyhappyhay said...

OMG ! Dinner with Nora and Mrs G? Bossy is the lucky one!!
Oh Nora, I don't know how I survived without your wit!!

All Adither said...

Hey, you're fretting a lot. But you ended up with a great blog post in spite of it. Because of it?

Was fun meeting you the other night.

Childlife said...

Hee, hee! I think you could still pull some posts out of these - LOL!

Mrs. G. said...

It was too much fun and such a pleasure to meet you in person!

I'm thinking about you and sending you my most powerful mojo.

Grandy said...

So Jealous.

Glad to have you back. ;)

countrymouse said...

The bathroom stall choice--definitely do that one : )

And you're so right about Bossy--so human. Great to meet you : )

Professor J said...

Wait a minute. It's all about you? I thought it was all about me.

Bea said...

I'm in the slow-blink phase of post-idea production, and I don't even have a dissertation to blame. (Just paint chips.)

Minnesota Matron said...

Those are fine ideas! I think your brain is humming along just fine. Now the question is what are you going to do with that big old beautiful dissertation?

Kellan said...

Very cool to meet Bossy and all those great ladies - very cool!!

Nice to see you - take care - Kellan

Vanessa said...

I'm envious of your meeting Bossy! Glad you are back to blogging.

JCK said...

So, so glad you're back. And very envious of all of those awesome bloggers you met. Seattle rocks!

HRH said...

I love it! I hope it is an outline of things to come...

I am especially interested in chapter one with the truck narration and wonder if you have been exposed to the hideous "Hard Hat Harry" which could keep you blogging for months...

Mac and Cheese said...

You seem to be on an upswing tho. Looking forward to reading more.