Saturday, September 22, 2007

A lucky wife

So I took a week or so off from blogging. Partly because I wasn't sure anyone was reading, and that's cool, but I figured that it would not be a big deal. And then, I check back in, and (it bears mentioning again) an award! What a nice, nice thing.

But mostly the reason for my hiatus was because it was my wedding anniversary, and we were celebrating. I'm not really all into "dates" and everything. J gets me caramels at Valentines Day and that's about enough for me (yum). We really aren't the flowers and perfume types. But we did go to dinner, and had a great time. And, oh my, do I love him.

He is in the middle of changing jobs. And you know how that's one of those life things that just saying it doesn't do justice to how hard it is. "I was in a bad relationship." "I had trouble breastfeeding." "We had trouble getting pregnant." Etc. I should say that J is a recovering child prodigy-type. Smartest kid in small town, college at 16, that kind of thing. But then you grow up, and there are people around as smart as you, and even though that's what you wanted it can be hard. And no one stops in their tracks and FAWNS at a smart adult like they do a smart child. And sometimes, so I hear, these babies can sort of get the short end of the stick on the whole socialization thing.

And this isn't to say that J has no social skills, because he does. But (never say but, this word should be eliminated from the English language). And. He thinks technology should be beautiful, and can be an expression of art. And that just because everyone does it the way everyone else does, doesn't make it right. And it means he is used to being the sole voice of his type in the crowd. To his vision not being understood. And the whole socialization thing means he's kind of immune to the difficulty of that position, I think [I'm guilty of it myself, the great-you-can-do-all-this-math-how-about-taking-the-garbage-out variety]. So he was in this job, at a technology company in Seattle that yall have heard of. And when he started he thought they were all cutting edge and would really use him for his gifts, that he could make a difference. Which he wants so, so bad to do and feels it is his calling. Only to discover that they have become A Large Organization with tons of red tape and layers and layers of managers. And it ended up where he was just supposed to be a code monkey implementing other people's poorly conceived or politically motivated projects.

And you know, he had this crappy job, while I was in school, while I was pregnant, having a baby, going crazy because of breastfeeding problems. Doing that provider thing that I'm sure I never thanked him enough for. Because how can you? Really. But he did it. And I didn't even know how bad it was for him, because he was so busy trying to fix it, and take care of me and baby.

But anyway, so then he gets connected to this senior technology guy. Someone yall have also heard of just from the tabloids. Made it big back in the early days of personal computers and now is worth billions. And he has a small company that he funds himself because he believes in big ideas. And he offered J a job on our anniversary. A nice offer. He didn't even have a job opening, he just offered J a job because he believed in J and his vision and passion. I am so happy for J and so proud of him, for persevering through crappy-fit job, and finding Mr, Senior Guy, for impressing him, for creating a job.

I have learned a much needed lesson about believing in your partner. I tend to need some work with the on-the-ground part of that part of marriage (see take-out-garbage reference above). I have certainly had the "why can't I just have a normal husband" thoughts, wondered when, even if sometimes, all these big ideas were going to come to fruition. And now I can see that they can, and they probably will, someday. If I believe in him, just that, no strings, that would be a great accomplishment of my life.

Happy anniversary, my love. I'm proud that our bubba has you for his daddy.

3 comments:

Her Bad Mother said...

He sounds really, really wonderful. And it sounds like he's happy to have you, too.

Happy anniversary to you!

childlife said...

Happy anniversary and congratulations! Glad you had a great week off - and glad to see you back : )

boogiemum (www.boogiemum.com) said...

Happy Anniversary! Sounds like our hubbies are very similar and I have some of the same issues as you. It's nice to find someone who understands what it takes to live with these type of men. It definitely is a blessing, but take a lot of faith, understanding and trust!