Monday, September 10, 2007

Cows or coffee shops

Do we all do this? Try to give our children all the good things we got, plus more? It's surprising how often I think about this, because it's really dumb. But I read books to H about farm animals (the cow says moo, etc) and I realize that this is part of my childhood that I can't pass on. I grew up in rural Pennsylvania, and we weren't on a farm but we were surrounded by them. I can't remember ever not knowing what a cow was. They were everywhere, on every drive to town. I even love the smell of their poop in the air. We had friends who raised goats, and went to feed the babies every spring. We had horses, and geese...And now? I have to take H to a petting zoo if I want him to know about the cow that says moo. And it kinda really bothers me. I mean, a big rambling house, woods to play in, tractor rides from the neighbors, fresh corn right from the fields in summer, playing tag with a big elm tree for home base, chasing fireflies, 10 mile drive to the grocery store. That is all me, and it's not H. He is a tiny city house, ice cream truck, coffee shops, city buses, walking to the fireworks on July 4. Recycling. Pizza delivery. Zoo in the neighborhood (alleged home of angst-producing petting zoo in addition to lions and tigers and such). Will all my history die with me? Those are my memories, and for some reason it seems natural that H should share them, since he is so so such a part of me. But he's not, not that part. And taking him to a petting zoo to see the cow that says moo, for some reason it brings it all up, and I can't bring myself to do it yet.

Meanwhile, one of the mothers in my mother's group is expecting another bubba, the first in our group. Another thing to think about.

5 comments:

childlife said...

I know what you mean. I struggle with this same sentiment. My parents had a 'play farm' as I was growing up and I'm still a total country girl at heart. We live in the city now, with my two kids and I am always going out of my way to give them opportunities to experience country life. Somehow it's not the same though. I have recently realized though, that they are making some fabulous memories of their own and will likely have the same fears about their own kids futures. In reading your blog, I think your little guy will have some awesome memories!

Mama Zen said...

I've had the same feelings about my little one. I grew up on a farm, and I had so many experiences that my child just won't. Makes me a little sad sometimes.

boogiemum said...

I also agree. I didn't grow up on a farm, but I grew up in the woods of NH. Now we live in Florida and my kids can't regularly walk and hear the crunch of the leaves, or feel the elation of a snow day. I can't even send them outside to play on the grass, never mind woods, without me hovering over them. I am so sad they will miss all these things...

childlife said...

Have something for you over at my place...

childlife said...

P.S. Your surprise is in the post entitled "And They Just Keep Coming..." from September 17th (the date isn't showing up in the post header for some reason.)