I could start the list of things that I swore I would never do as a married person. It would be a long list. The funniest is possibly Jeff and I, young and in love, gazing deep into each others' eyes and pledging to share all household responsibilities (including income) 50/50. Right down the middle.
And then I found out that he didn't have to do chores as a child. Uh oh. So off he trundled to work.
Or how I would never pee in front of him, you know, to keep things fresh and mysterious. As my new hero Betty Draper says, if he keeps looking at me like that I feel like I'm earning my keep.
And how I swore I would never go through his stuff and get rid of it without asking him. Because I RESPECT him. I would never DO that. They are HIS things. Besides, it is irrelevant anyway because we will be sharing everything 50/50 so he will periodically go through his own stuff and flag things for the Goodwill bag OF HIS OWN ACCORD. The bag that we will carry, jointly, to the car, because you know we SHARE things. Everything.
Because there are two garbage bags of Jeff's "things" for the Goodwill in the trunk of my car right now, not a single one vetted by him. And I'm pretty certain he won't miss a single one, since they are all either unworn gifts or clothes he hasn't touched in at least a year. I have reached a new low. I'm not saying I regret it, but how much lower than my own principles can I go? It's a slippery slope, I tell you. A slippery slope.