Sunday, July 13, 2008

The high-minded intellectual Sunday of a new PhD

  1. Had friend with Costco membership buy me baby wipes.
  2. Felt guilty for consuming Costco products without a membership.
  3. Remembered how I once returned a backpack I knew was full of cat pee for a full refund.
  4. Became convinced will go to hell.
  5. Had identity crisis that I am now a person who has strong opinions about baby wipes.
  6. Had identity crisis that I'm not using "green" baby wipes.
  7. Told myself, HA! There is no such thing as a green baby wipe.
  8. Had identity crisis that my plan to use warm washcloths instead of baby wipes lasted as long as my maternity leave, not a day longer.
  9. Took nap.
  10. Gazed rapturously at baby.
  11. Took baby swimming in Lake Washington.
  12. Wondered why he didn't love it.
  13. Realized maybe the three foot swells from passing speedboats and glacial water temperature may be influencing his enjoyment.
  14. Pretty sure lifeguard megaphoned something in my direction about being a bad mother for taking my baby too far into the water.
  15. Switched to warm, toddler-friendly wading pool.
  16. Coveted some other kid's plastic firetruck water toy.
  17. Had identity crisis that I am now a person who covets plastic firetrucks.
  18. Figured it was better than coveting a plastic GUN.
  19. Figured I could easily overpower the four year old playing with it and then it would be MINE .
  20. Looked at potential new house (PNH) for the third time.
  21. Walk from PNH to nearby "park."
  22. Realized "park" near PNH is nothing more than a footbridge over a perilous ravine that is probably full of rodents.
  23. Watched childless unmarried couple traversing perilous ravine.
  24. Remembered that's often how I spent Sunday afternoons in ANOTHER LIFE.
  25. Gazed rapturously at husband and baby.
  26. Glanced a little longingly at childless unmarried couple.
  27. Realized playground is way the hell over on the other side of the "park" and would have to drive to it if we lived in PNH.
  28. Realized husband doesn't care in the least that would have to drive to playground.
  29. Realized husband would enjoy traversing perilous ravine with me.
  30. Assumed husband doesn't remember that WE HAVE A BABY.
  31. Cooked dinner I knew husband would hate.
  32. Figured then he might agree that it is really important to walk to a playground.
  33. Feigned innocence of passive-aggression in meal planning strategy.
  34. Thought "why do we all assume I'm cooking dinner all the time anyway? I have a PhD!"
  35. Remembered I don't actually make very much money.
  36. Felt guilty about #31.
  37. Wondered when diploma will arrive.

296 comments:

1 – 200 of 296   Newer›   Newest»
princessofsomething said...

I too have been known to covet toy firetrucks, although I am a bit disappointed as I thought that was the shameful occupation of mothers with only a B.S.

Tee-hee.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

The wading pool was warm because of all the pee in it. That, at least, has been my experience.

Misty said...

#31 is a fairly regular occurrence around here. Good to keep things in check. :)

They didn't tell you how long it would take to arrive?

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You better hope to Costco Membership Police don't find you out.

Mama Goose said...

#34 is an almost daily occurance here (though I don't have a PhD.) Yet last night as I was thinking that exact thought, Daddy-O came in to the kitchen and - WITHOUT being asked, people! - poured milk for the boys. Though it wasn't dinner prep, it was something.

Perhaps mental daggers do work after all...

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Well, it is refreshing to know that even doctorate-degree-earners have the same kinds of 'intellectual' days that I do...

hippyhappyhay said...

This post makes me glad I'm stupid. I'd be dead tired after all that thinking.

Bridge said...

congrats on your PhD. nothing like your family to keep you "real"...on my graduation day for my Masters, I was packing, cleaning and watching a little league game.

Mrs. G. said...

Hey, I bought a backpack that smelled like cat pee once!

ellen said...

I wanna know what you cooked for dinner?

JCK said...

#31 made me belly laugh out loud! These were hysterical, Nora. Especially liked the childless couple over the ravine.

Come get some bling!

HeatherPride said...

Hi - first time here. Congrats on your PhD! I admire that a lot. I started my second B.S. degree - lasted 3 classes. I started my master's degree, lasted 1 class. So yay, you!

Stacy (mama-om) said...

Lovely! Simply Lovely!

(you know, since you have a PhD, I thought I would try to sound refined... :)

Vanessa said...

I'm curious what you made for dinner and if you are referring to the Burke Gilman Trail as a ravine? Good luck with you PNH!

Melanie said...

Sounds like a pretty great Sunday.

giyen said...

this list is hilarious!

ps. costco doesn't care. :-)

MamaBird said...

I call that kind of train of thought hairsplitting. I heart your swings. Glad I finally got around to reading it. Hilarious.

Childlife said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who is opinionated about baby wipes. Kudos to you for lasting through your maternity leave without them :D

My baby wipe opinions center more around the notion that entire boxes of them should not be emptied by marauding munchkins in one sitting who then leave them strewn about, giving our family room the appearance of a littered public park...

Melissa said...

This is so great. ALL of it! :D Congrats on the PhD. -And Costco allows people to bring a guest, so it's ok.

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